Since I have become a fake thinker guy since August, with the advent of 'Purism', ---dang realized I never even addressed that to this blog. It started with just a geometric starting block for design. Making the most human recognizable stripped down forms and integrating them into architecture. Then, with Ramadhan hitting immediately after I began that study, Purism began to take on a lifestyle persona. So one could be called 'Purist'. It basically dictates that you have to be all or nothing, 100% real with your actions. My main thing to myself was to let myself speak when I had something valid to say, without thinking and rethinking my every step, in example. Living more not spontaneous, but a more calculated natural impulse mode. For the most part it exists peacefully with Islam. It is kinda high-strung which I am worried that will cause me to burn out. It is such a high standard of attempting true self manifestation.
That high standard led me to contemplate Perfection, then what if Beauty was better than Perfection, or if Beauty is Perfection, or if Beauty is Perfection plus that indescribable bit. I dwelled on Beauty (and still think about it) from September till about November. Transitioned into Destiny after thinking about my next potential "relationship" alot around October through Now-ish. Still thinking of it. Not my new thing is apparently "Importance". It kinda started when I was talking with my best friend at Tech, Ronnie. We were just debating stuff, don't remember, but I kinda took away from it that maybe our 'Importances' shape how we not only live, but value certain morals. How we view 'sins' as light or heavy. What rules even in Islam we highly regard or kinda tuck under the rug. So I have been thinking about that lately. It kinda goes along with Nature vs. Nurture.
I looked at my life, and my Importances. I felt so nurtured. My main goal is to be a good father and good male community member. Why? My daddy issues, looking around the community I was raised in and the negative affects of poor male participation. I follow Islam because I was taught that way. I want so badly to have converted, then I would know for sure I am attracted to this religion. I need to try harder to solidify that stance whatever it ends up being, to be 'Purist' lol. I care about track because I am good at it.
I want to be able to have my Importances be because that is just who I am, instead of who I have become. Maybe that's the only thing that makes us different. A huge part of Purism is the non-referential, non-preknowledge required in bringing out true beauty in architecture, or life or anything. But the Importance thing throws all of that away seemingly. And says, our references have all to do with what we appreciate and what we are interested in. I dunno, I am only 3 days into this study, lol.
I guess that first step is to lay out the spectrum of basic human need and when and how it transitions into want.
List: Things we have control over that are our needs and wants
- Water y Food
- Shelter
- Samuel Relations
- Companionship
- Security through finances or other
- Happiness
- Influence on people
- Etc...
Endnote II- It kinda hit me too, when responding to Ruqi's questions on my other post about my relationship, how much reference was involved in it. I have become a faithless person that is reluctant to put myself out there and risk being vulnerable, just because of a past event. I think it is like a defense mechanism against naivety or just the development of ones self, but I know in my mind it shouldn't change me, but my heart is like 'I don't want to feel that again SheemTeem, shut it down'. I just have to repeat the mantra "What makes us Vulnerable makes us Beautiful".
You have such a special mind sheem. Thanks for the insight, you're an inspiration
ReplyDelete