In late 2011, I stole my identity, and I can't get it back. It's tiring posing as myself, trying to buy a new phone, or transfer money with the fear of them catching me using my identity. It sucks having to carry around important documents day to day just in case the store clerk looks at their screen funny and says, 'sorry sir, we need to see a social security card or a passport'. You would think that after 3 years of no criminal activity that the feds would have backed off and let a nigga lay low, but no. Every time I move or every purchase I make over a mere $200 is met with a phone call with someone asking to verify me being me.
I wonder what the real Hasheem is up to. He apparently doesn't have any address, no job, somehow doesn't spend ANY money. It must suck being him, knowing someone else is using his identity, I'm sure he is dead, as he hasn't bought a loaf of bread since December 2011.
Oh well, try as they might, they cannot stop me from stealing my identity, I have all the documents with me, I somehow look exactly like the negro on the passports and id cards, I somehow know all the security questions every time. But even though it is sooooo easy to pretend to be Hasheem, it gets tiring. Maybe I can just fess up and be myself for once. No more awkward stares from store clerks as they say my SSN is in the negative category while at the same time my credit is somehow immaculate, so they push on and verify my application. But oh well, nothing you can do about it. I guess I'll just have to get used to being a criminal for the rest of my life.
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