So, I had my first real friend thing in my new adult life. A friend I made had a birthday potluck and invited me. I brought some cornbread, wasn't a hit, but it came out well. Anyway, after a day of work and a work lunch I was pretty low on my social life fuel for the day. But, I mustered my bits of energy to really try to connect with some people around my age that live in Charlotte, and use this as an opportunity to lay a foundation of acquaintances, maybe I over thought this and should have been more like water.
At first it was ok, small talk is pretty easy, job, living situation, "how do you like Charlotte?". But then comes the secondary part. The stories. My mortal enemy. I have never been good at telling stories. It is not that I don't have them, I just usually skip to the climax really quickly. And I am too cerebral about offering them or not, "Maybe this is too boring".
As I am sitting there between 2 really normal conversations looking back and forth at the groups pretending to be there and laughing at the right spots, I am getting frustrated that I can't get in there. I know what will work, but I can't make myself get in there and say it. I simply don't want to. I'd rather talk about what Trump shows about the current sentiment towards democracy in US, or why we celebrate Christmas the same way every year. The problem isn't that I don't have anything to say, it's more I don't know how to take people there in a conversation without looking like I have Aspergers. Or I don't know what is appropriate.
So, I kinda quit. I resigned to being the smily quiet one.. again. Why can't I talk about really specific details of a teams uniform?
Anyway, potluck went well. I walked there, was further than expected, so my friend offers to drive me back home. The strangest thing is making new friends with a guy. Like, I haven't done that in a non work setting in so long, I want to be completely based and all purism and crap, but then again you want to carry a conversation. I dont know, I tried to talk alittle about rap, houses, etc, the issue is, he is much more soft spoken than I thought, kinda reserved and just a cool dude and I am soft spoken, that doesnt mesh the best. My best friends (even though we are all friends) are very social and crazy, I play the straight man in the duo. But here, I'd have to play the joker. Meh, we'll see.
Endnote - The main thing is, words are much different than action, and I learned much more about myself today than from months of reflection.
At first it was ok, small talk is pretty easy, job, living situation, "how do you like Charlotte?". But then comes the secondary part. The stories. My mortal enemy. I have never been good at telling stories. It is not that I don't have them, I just usually skip to the climax really quickly. And I am too cerebral about offering them or not, "Maybe this is too boring".
As I am sitting there between 2 really normal conversations looking back and forth at the groups pretending to be there and laughing at the right spots, I am getting frustrated that I can't get in there. I know what will work, but I can't make myself get in there and say it. I simply don't want to. I'd rather talk about what Trump shows about the current sentiment towards democracy in US, or why we celebrate Christmas the same way every year. The problem isn't that I don't have anything to say, it's more I don't know how to take people there in a conversation without looking like I have Aspergers. Or I don't know what is appropriate.
So, I kinda quit. I resigned to being the smily quiet one.. again. Why can't I talk about really specific details of a teams uniform?
Anyway, potluck went well. I walked there, was further than expected, so my friend offers to drive me back home. The strangest thing is making new friends with a guy. Like, I haven't done that in a non work setting in so long, I want to be completely based and all purism and crap, but then again you want to carry a conversation. I dont know, I tried to talk alittle about rap, houses, etc, the issue is, he is much more soft spoken than I thought, kinda reserved and just a cool dude and I am soft spoken, that doesnt mesh the best. My best friends (even though we are all friends) are very social and crazy, I play the straight man in the duo. But here, I'd have to play the joker. Meh, we'll see.
Endnote - The main thing is, words are much different than action, and I learned much more about myself today than from months of reflection.
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